Late night thoughts....

For those of you who may not know...if it's two in the morning, and all you have to drink in the refridgerator is a Mountain Dew...just stay thirsty and forget the Mountain Dew.  Otherwise, you will not sleep, even on a night where your infant son is uncharacteristically calm and sleeping...

I go back to work soon.  To be honest, there is very little there that I am looking forward to go back to.  I am constantly slammed with contradictions and impossible situations.  I spend weeks doing top level assignments only to be observed on the one off day of the six weeks.  In an observation I am praised for my charisma in the classroom and my ability to hold a student's attention, and yet two minutes later I am told I need to not be in the front of the class so much.  I go to seminar after seminar about how students lack the proper foundations in math to succeed, and yet I am rebuked for taking too long on a topic to make sure the foundations are built.  The people that tell me to teach bell to bell pay money to hire a professional educational motivator, who then tells me not to teach bell to bell.  And at the end of it all, as much as I try to teach math so that life skills are learned, all that really matters is how well my students can guess on one test on one day.  Its not about educating young people....its about handing out as many diplomas as possible.  As I said, there is very little to look forward to when I return.

And yet, sitting here watching my little boy sleep....it all suddenly becomes worth it.  Watching his little chest rise and fall, I come to realize that I would do anything just to ensure that he has moments like this.  I would go to the bottom of a coal mine, fight the storms of a hundred seas, throw myself in the path of a thousand bullets, endure every hardship, pain, risk, danger, and disappointment known to man...just to make sure Brayson gets a good night's rest.  No matter how frustrated I get with the education system...for now, it keeps food in his mouth, a roof over his head, and clothes on his back.

So bring it on.  Give me the kids that don't do their homework and expect to pass.  Give me the naive parents who think their child is mankind's savior.  Give me the administrators so far removed from the classroom they can't remember what its like to teach at all.  Give me the state legislators that make standards with no concept how to implement them in the real world.  Give me a job whose pay is no where near the amount it should be for all the certification crap one has to go through to get that job.  Bring it all.  I'll take it all on, just so my little boy can sleep peacefully.

Yeah.....Mountain Dew at 2 AM is a bad thing.....Don't do it.....

Keep Soaring,

Branson      

Now a father, but still a husband...

Mandy and I had a talk the other night about taking care of Brayson.  As is normal for most newborns, his days and nights are mixed up.  So what ends up happening is Mandy and I trade baby watch duty.  One of us watches him for a couple of hours, and then we trade off.  Then, while one watches, the other sleeps.  It hasn't been a bad system.

Here's the thing.  Mandy said she didn't feel like we were doing enough together.  Granted, I've stayed up for hours into the night watching Brayson so she could sleep.  I've gone to buy things at the store, tried to keep the house reasonably clean...been very busy performing tasks.  But when it came to the two of us sitting down and talking with each other, talking about the changes in our lives, relating to one another...I've been somewhat absent.  My focus has been so much on providing for my newborn son, at some point I forgot I still have a wife that needs me just as much.

An important lesson, I think.  We've all heard about couples who stick it out until the kids leave, and then its divorce time.  They become so absorbed in taking care of their children that at some point they forget to take care of each other.  That's great parenting, but its bad relating.

Now, I know first hand that when a child comes into the world, things change.  Time you thought you had is gone forever, and it seems like you're just existing between naps and diaper changes.  But we're not doing our children any favors if caring for them makes us leave our spouses.  So, take it from me, its worth the time to put the baby down for an hour or two and be a couple.  If the baby's old enough, call the sitter and go out.  If nothing else, the two of you sit on the floor with the little tyke and the three of you play together.

I want to be the best father that I can be for Brayson.  Part of that is still being the best husband I can be to Mandy.

Keep Soaring,

B

Happy Easter...

This hymn seemed appropriate on several levels given recent changes in my life.  :-D  So I wanted to share a couple of verses from it with everyone...

"How sweet to hold a newborn baby
And feel the pride and joy he gives.
But greater still the calm assurance,
This child can face uncertain days because He lives.

"Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.
Because He lives, all fear is gone.
Because I know, He holds the future,
And life is worth the living just because He lives."

--Because He Lives, Bill Gaither

Happy Easter Everyone.

Keep Soaring,

B

God is watching...

We had quite an experience today, and I feel like it would be wrong to not include an account of it on this little blog.

Mandy called me around 1:15 and told me that she was having contractions about once an hour.  After talking with a colleague of mine, and considering the bad weather that was coming, I thought it would be best if I went on home.  That way we could get an early start and beat the weather.

We make it to Tyler only to discover that a tornado had touched down close to Sulphur Springs.  I start calling church members to see how everyone is.  Come to find out that the school where I teach at was locked down, and no one was allowed to leave until 5:00.  So, if I hadn't left, we would just now be arriving at tyler, having to drive right through all the bad weather.

Thank God for his providence, for his protection, and his prodding through Kevin Tanton.  He really is answering our prayers and keeping Brayson safe.

Keep soaring,

B

In Memory of Bernice Waters...

Today my Mamaw was laid to rest.  I wasn't able to be there because of our soon-to-arrive baby boy.  And in all actuality, here is where she would have wanted me to be.  Still though, I wish there was some way I could have been there--to honor her memory without neglecting my responsibilities here.

My dad gave her eulogy today.  I know that he honored her with his words.  I even heard that at the end, my cousins spoke a Jewish prayer.  That was just like my grandmother.  Every time the family gathered for a meal, thanks were given to God in Christian prayers and in Hebrew.  I'm glad that a service in her honor reflected that.

The world is a darker place with her not in it, but thanks be to God that she is in a place where she suffers no more.  I regret that Brayson will not meet his great-grandmother this side of heaven.  But he will be told of her compassion, her humor, and her love of family.  And through those stories, maybe it will be a way of them meeting.

I love you, Mamaw, and I miss you.