The Supremacy of Love...the first step in the journey

Back when I served as pastor in East Texas, I felt the LORD leading me to preach through 1 Corinthians.  It was a great experience, and it helped me gain a better understanding of how we as followers of Christ are supposed to relate to each other.  But chapter 13 had the most profound impact, and it started me on a path that I am still trying to understand.

I highly recommend you read 1 Corinthians 13 before reading this post.  And I mean all of it.  Don't just assume you know what it says.  That's what I did at first, and then when I actually studied it, I was floored.

1 Corinthians is a letter from Paul to the Corinthian church that addresses several problems that had arisen among them.  In Chapter 12 he spends a great deal of time discussing the importance of unity and how now one person is more important than the other.  He uses the imagery of a human body and how all the intricate parts work together.  And then he closes the chapter with "And now I will show you the most excellent way."  In other words, as important as what he just said is, what's coming is even more so.

The first three verses of Chapter 13 are often quoted as evidence that the sign gifts are still around.  But I don't think that's the point.  I think the point Paul is making here is that it doesn't matter how gifted he is at anything, if he does not have love, then those gifts are pointless.  Love is supreme; without it nothing we do is effective.  It doesn't matter if we have perfect doctrine, strong ministries, beautiful buildings, or skilled pastors--if we do not have love, then we're nothing.

Nowadays that seems to be the first thing to go.  I know several men and women who can quote the Bible backwards and forwards, know church history almost better than American history, and can give seamless arguments based on the Bible of why abortion, homosexuality, and evolution are not Godly positions.  But when it comes to people who love others, and love others to the extent that Christ has commanded us...

I can think of maybe four people.  And none of those four people is me.

So if Paul, an apostle of Jesus Christ, says that love is the most important thing a follower of Christ can have--so much so that nothing else matters without it--but it is the thing that we are least known for in modern day Christianity, then clearly we've missed the boat somewhere.

The next questions to come up is, "Well, what does it look like to love?  How am I supposed to love other people?"  Enter verses 4-7.  You all can probably quote it with me.  "Love is patient.  Love is kind...etc."  That's what love looks like.  Where does it say love judges hearts?  No where.  Where does it say love ridicules in the name of good doctrine?  No where.  Where does it say love means telling people to be more like me?  No where.  In fact, everything I read about love suggests that you put other people before yourself.

And yes, I did read where it says, "Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth."  But that does not say we get to be mean about the truth.  If, when Christopher Hitchins died, your reaction was, "Ha!  Bet he's not an atheist now!" then you were not showing love...you were delighting in the evil of watching a man created by God perish.  If, when Joel Osteen supposedly left the faith, your reaction was, "Ha!  I'm not surprised.  He wasn't a real Christian anyway," then you were not showing love...you were delighting in the evil of watching someone lose their faith in God.  We have to be able to have our beliefs without being buttholes about them.  Why?  BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS TO DO!!!

Finally, Paul makes the point that love is the only thing that will last forever.  All the things that we think are so important will one day pass away.  There will come a time when even Scripture will be obsolete.  When Jesus returns, we'll have no need for Bibles, because the very Word of God will be standing before us (John 1:1).  The only thing that will endure into eternity is love.  "But these three remain: faith, hope, and love.  And the greatest of these is love."

It was from here that some thoughts started churning in my mind.  Those will have to wait for another post.  For now, chew on this, and if you have any comments, please feel free to share.

Remember, it doesn't matter how right you are, if you do not have love for the person you speak to when you speak truth, then you might as well not speak at all.

I leave you with a quote that a good friend of mine shared on his Facebook wall.  "Truth without love is merely facts, and facts have never set anyone free."

Keep Soaring,

B  

A journey I've been traveling...

I named this blog "God's Forge" because I wanted it to chronicle the process of refinement that God has been putting me through.  Over the past year or so, I've been on what my OT professor at SWBTS would call a "journey of faith."  I was going to write a book about this journey, and I still may, but it would be remiss of me not to share at least some parts of it here.

A few days ago, I posted on my Facebook a question, especially directed at my friends who were not Christians.  I got several responses, all of which I appreciate.  The question was, "What are Christians known for today?"  Here are the responses I received:

"You won't like the answer to this question."  "Most of the people I work with...talk about how judgmental the Christians they knew are."  "I expect most Christians to be hypocritical."  "I think of someone who believes in Christ."  "Today, someone saying they are 'christian' is like saying they are not muslim or not buddhist."  "I think someone who is like Christ."  "Good people in general."  "Someone being like Christ."

Warranted or not, we as followers of Christ are known for our judgment, hypocrisy, and religious beliefs.  And I have known many a Christian who thinks, "Oh they're just generalizing.  We're not all like that."  That may be true, but the fact remains that we are still known for these things.

Here's the problem with that:  "By this everyone will know you are my disciples, if you love one another."  --John 13:35

We're not supposed to be known for our judgment of others.  We're not supposed to be known for hypocrisy.  We're not even supposed to be known for our religious beliefs.  The defining characteristic of a follower of Christ is that he/she loves others.  And it seems that is now the least important part of being a Christian.

Brothers and sisters, it doesn't matter how good our doctrine is or how strong our beliefs are or how many people we can convince to "jump on our bandwagon."  If we don't have love, then we are missing the point of what it means to follow Christ.  We have an image problem, and we need to take steps to correct it.

I have so much more to say on this, but that will have to wait for the next post.  In the meantime, fellow Christians, ask yourself this:  "What am I known for?  Am I known for what I'm against and what I am willing to argue about?  Or am I known for my love?"

Keep Soaring,

B  

Nerds still exist?

Twice this week I've come across this term, and neither time has it been used appropriately.  

Merriam-Webster Dictionary has two definitions for the word "nerd."  1.) an unstylish, unattractive, or socially inept person, and 2.) One slavishly devoted to intellectual or academic pursuits.  

When this term was used, it was not referring to a person's social skills or to his/her academic pursuits.  It was referring to his/her interests.  

One person thoroughly enjoys comic books, anime, etc.  She goes to conventions, wears black most of the time, and thinks its cool when she wears eyeliner like that makes her eyes look like Cleopatra.  The first time I met her, she was wearing a belt with a classic Nintendo controller as the buckle.  Clearly, she's not your "all American girl."  But she has friends, is very polite, and even has a boyfriend that she's been serious with for some time.  As to her academic pursuits, she is intelligent, but she's not the type to stick her nose in a textbook for hours on end.  

The other person has a family that enjoys hunting, fishing, camping, and just being outside in general.  She, on the other hand, enjoys cell phones, laptop computers, and playing a Legend of Zelda game in the air conditioning.  Her family has had a sit-down with her to express their concerns that she's not "outside" enough.  They also don't like the fact that most of her friends are "theater" people.  But once again, she's not socially inept, and while she is intelligent, I don't see her studying at every free moment she has.  

So both of these girls were called nerds by those who seem to "fit the mold" a little bit better, but neither one really fit the definition of nerd.  These girls, like so many other people, simply have a set of interests that don't fit their surroundings.

I thought that as a society we had gotten past condemning a person to being a social outcast because his/her interests are different, but apparently we haven't.  So, to those of you who enjoy looking down your nose at these "nerds" or "geeks" or whatever else you want to call them, consider this:

The phone/laptop/computer you're using to read this?  It was made by us.  You see, years ago, an entire generation of people introduced their children to Star Trek.  And they loved the idea of it so much, that they sought to make the imaginations of Gene Roddenberry a reality.  So computers got smaller, cell phones got smarter, and now your social media umbilical cord that you can't set down for two seconds exists.  Yeah, we "nerds," we "geeks," we did that for you.

The submarines that go through our oceans and keep us safe?  We did that.  You see, somewhere in history someone read Jules Verne's 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea.  And they thought the idea of a ship that could travel underwater was cool, so they researched and worked until they figured out how it worked.  Now, our borders are protected by something out of a sci-fi novel.  Yeah, we did that, too.  

These are just two of the many examples of services we provide because we think that science fiction could one day be science fact.  But, for me, the icing on the cake, the cherry on top, the real reason you shouldn't look down on the outcasts of society:

Guess who Jesus Christ hung out with?  The outcasts, the weird ones, the people that everybody else scorned.  And guess who Jesus Christ eventually became?  An outcast, a weird one, one that everybody else scorned.  In fact, the only person in the New Testament who "conformed to the norm," which in that day was the Pharisees, ended up hanging himself.

So before you get too proud of yourself for being just like everybody else, make sure that it really is a good thing.  Often times going with the flow just means you're heading to the same death trap as everyone else.  And the next time you feel tempted to call someone a "nerd" or a "geek," remember that without them you would still be chiseling crude pictures on cave walls to pass the time (assuming you aren't still doing that now).  

Okay....rant over.  I'm done.    

Making Disciples...do we really do that anymore?

My dad and I have been reading through Kingdom Man by Tony Evans for the past several weeks. The other night, as we discussed the latest chapter that we had read, our conversation went to the topic of discipleship. Throughout the discussion, I began to reflect on where I am now and how I got to here.

I was lucky in that growing up I had a plethora of Godly men to look up to. Of course, my dad was always there, and the way he lived his life was an example to me. As I grew older, God blessed me with a pastor and youth minister who recognized God's call on my life and spent time training me. In college and during my time at Seminary, I had several brothers in Christ, many of which I met with on a regular basis, who encouraged and me, and I still have kept in touch with many of them. Now, I'm in an accountability relationship nearly ten years strong that has helped to keep me on the straight and narrow. Looking back on my life, I can truly say that I have been, and still am being, discipled. All of these men that have contributed to my spiritual well being did so above and beyond the call of duty associated with their positions. These men were more than fellow church goers. In a very real sense, they were Brothers.

The sad thing is that I realize just how rare this is. How many men can point to someone they can call on right now to help them in a crisis? How many men in the church are meeting with their Brothers more than during Sunday school? How many of us have truly invested our LIVES into someone else so that they may grow closer to Christ?

Or are we content to just shake hands and smile on Sunday morning? Do we let Sunday activities be the extent of our discipleship? Jesus spent three years of his life living teaching His disciples ON A DAILY BASIS! If we are His followers, shouldn't we do the same?

I have been given so much in my life. My faith today is a result of a long line of men willing to take time out of their schedule to invest in me, even when it was inconvenient for them. The least I could do is pass that on.

I encourage all of us to find someone we can invest our lives in. Let us do more than just make converts. Let us make disciples. Let us invest in the lives of the people that God has placed in our lives.

To the men who have helped guide me to Christ, you have my humble adoration and gratitude. May God bless you as much as He used you to bless me.

Keep Soaring,

Branson

Enough Complaining....

I've noticed that the past several posts I've made on this blog have been very harsh, very angry, and very pointed.  I've lashed out at the world like a man scorned.  But I can only wallow in my own bitterness for so long before it starts to eat at me.  Its normal to be angry when one sees things that one knows simply should not be.  But to continue to rage against the world and never take the time to change it -- that suggests that one would prefer to be angry than to be satisfied.

This past Sunday I attended a joint Spanish-English service at Journey Baptist Church, where two Hispanic churches from the surrounding area came and worshiped with their Anglo brothers and sisters.  The pastor from the Mount Vernon congregation said two things that struck me: (1) "If I can't use the gifts that God has given me for His glory, I am a miserable person," and (2) "when I became disgusted with the complacency of the people in my church, my pastor said that I was looking at man too much.  I needed to look at God more."

Well, that's where I am right now.  I see churches as a whole trading their desire to seek after the Lord with a desire to stay in the black.  No one wants to be effective anymore--we all just want to be big and well known.  (No, being big and well known does not equal effective, and being well known for how much of a butt hole you are about your beliefs is not being effective either).  And I've made clear my frustrations about that being the trend.  But after Sunday, I feel like the Lord is telling me that it's time to do something about it.  Rather than sit on my butt and become bitter about how the world is, I need to get up, use my gifts, and be the change that I want to see.  I need to look at man less and look at God more.

One of the things I enjoyed most about my time in vocational ministry was teaching.  And while I am thankful for the opportunity I have now to focus on my own relationship with Christ and to focus on being the husband and father I'm supposed to be, I do miss the chance to present Scripture in a practical way that (hopefully) helps to improve the lives of others.  Maybe the reason I'm harboring such bitterness is because I'm looking at man too much, and I instead need to look at God more.  Maybe I need to exercise my gifts to make the world better instead of waiting for it to get better on its own.

I've got some ideas in the works on exactly how I can do that.  I'm also trying to keep my eyes forward to what God wants me to do once I move to Shreveport.  I don't see much out there that I honestly feel like I could buy into with everything, but I don't want to sit and be stagnant either.  The only solution I see is to go out and create that which I wish existed.  I'm still working on how to do that, but the Lord is showing me what I need to see with each step.

Keep Soaring,

B

Is Osteen better at Christianity than we are?

Joel Osteen Turns the Other Cheek on Internet Hoax:

Interesting that he responded this way to the big hoax.  Because when I first heard about it, I read it on the Facebook of someone who posted the article with the words "I'm not surprised."  I read the comments that came after them.  Some were informing others that this was in fact a hoax.  One or two mentioned concern of Joel Osteen's spiritual well-being.  But most ranted on and on about how what he preaches isn't actually the Gospel.  Someone even said that "he can't leave the faith if he never was a part of it to begin with."

Now, I don't claim to know the mind of God.  But let's think for a second what would happen if this happened while Jesus was actually on the earth.  Someone who claims to be Jesus's biggest fan suddenly has a crisis of faith, even turning away from it.  How would Jesus respond?  Well, we don't really have to guess.  Because, you see, that's exactly Peter's story.  He claimed to be Jesus's biggest fan (Matthew 26:33), even though he didn't really understand completely what Jesus was here for (Matthew 16:23).  But he did have a crisis of faith, to the point of turning his back on Christ (Luke 22:54-62).  And Jesus, although completely justified in condemning Peter, instead chooses to restore him (John 21:15-17).

So here we have Joel Osteen, a man who claims to be one of Jesus's biggest fans, and there are quite a few things that many people believe him to be wrong on when it comes to Christ.  If he did have a crisis of faith and renounce his belief in God, how should we as followers of Christ respond? Do we, like the Savior we claim to follow, try our best to restore this man to his faith in the Lord, even if we think he's confused on what Scripture teaches?

Or do we post a link on Facebook with a smug remark about how he never was really a follower to start with?

The sad thing is, for those people who were tricked by this hoax and "weren't surprised" that Osteen seemingly left the faith, his response to the whole situation modeled Christ to the world better than any of their comments did.

Not trying to start a fight.  I just want to be sure that we take out the planks in our own eyes before we start noticing specks in the eyes of others.

Keep Soaring,

Branson

All I can Say

This song has been in my head all morning.  I hope it blesses you.

"All I Can Say" by David Crowder

Lord I'm tiredSo tired from walkingAnd Lord I'm so aloneAnd Lord the darkIs creeping inCreeping upTo swallow meI think I'll stopRest here a while
Chorus:And this is all that I can say right nowAnd this is all that I can giveAnd this is all that I can say right nowAnd this is all that I can give, that's my everything
Lord didn't You see me cry'n?And didn't You hear me call Your name?Wasn't it You I gave my heart to?I wish You'd rememberWhere you sat it down
Chorus:And this is all that I can say right now, i know it's not much.But this is all that I can give, yeah that's my everything.This is all that I can say right now [right now], i know it's not much.But this is all that I can give, yeah that's my everything.
Bridge:I didn't notice You were standing hereI didn't know thatThat was You holding meI didn't notice You were cry'n tooI didn't know thatThat was You washing my feet
And this is allThis is all that I can say right now, oh i know its not much.But this is all that I can give, yeah that's my everything.This is all that I can say right now [right now], i know it's not much.But this is all that I can give, yeah that's my everything.This is all that I can say right now, oh i know it's not much.But this is all that I can give, yeah that's my everything..yeah that's my everything..yeah that's my everything..everything...

GOOD Friday

May God bless you today, and may you have a truly GOOD Friday.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JElzkHX5smE

Keep Soaring,

Branson

"A Comprehensive Biblical Defense of the Trinity"

For the past few months, Mandy and I have been meeting with a family of Jehovah's Witnesses and discussing our beliefs, some of them common and some not so much.  It's been very enlightening, and its dispelled most of the misconceptions I've had about Jehovah's Witnesses.  (Up until a few months ago, what little I knew about them was from what I read in anti-JW literature.)

One of the topics that we have--and still are--debating is the Doctrine of the Trinity.  In my research, I came across this article online, and to date it may be one of the best defenses of the Trinity that I've ever read.  The author does a good job of pointing out the difference between what the Doctrine of the Trinity actually says and what it has come to mean to some today.

We have to be careful that, in an effort to make the nature of God understandable, we don't actually teach something that Scripture doesn't support.

I hope you enjoy and are edified by this article as much as I was.  Enjoy!!

A Comprehensive Biblical Defense of the Trinity

Keep Soaring,

Branson

Trying to be a better me...

I'm reading through Kingdom Man by Dr. Tony Evans.  Excellent book, and it hits home on several levels.  One of which is realizing that as a man I set the temperature of my home (metaphorically speaking....Mandy is in charge of the actual thermostat).  Dr. Evans says, "You can't expect a summer wife if all you bring home is winter weather."  Basically, take responsibility for your part in making a home a good home.

In light of that, I've come to realize that I don't take criticism very well, even if it's constructive.  I crave approval, constantly looking for what more I can do to get it from anyone and everyone.  And if that approval isn't given completely, I get irritated.  I don't want to be told how I could improve; I want to be told  that I'm already good.  But I want you to mean it when you say it, not just give me lip service.

I realize that I can't have it both ways.  People either are honest with me and tell me where I screw up, or they tell me what tickles my ears.  And if I really want to be a better version of myself, then I need to see criticism as a challenge to improve rather than a sting against my pride.

So, instead of telling Simon Cowell he can suck it, maybe I just need to accept that I might not be X Factor material.  (Again, metaphorically speaking....I didn't actually try out for the X Factor.)

"Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses." --Proverbs 27:6

Keep Soaring,

B

A More Light-Hearted Post...

Looking back on my posts, I realize that the past several have been extremely heavy.  I feel like I need to spend some time talking about what good is going on in my life.

Leaving my position as pastor is proving every day to be a good decision.  It was a hard one to make, and not one that I made whimsically or even happily.  But the returns from that decision, and the rest I've gotten because of it, have been much needed and wonderful.

I spent yesterday afternoon rolling on the floor playing with Brayson and Mandy.  I watched him laugh at the goofy faces I made, trip over himself as he slowly tried to understand the mechanics of walking (not there yet, but getting close!!), and give the biggest grin when he heard his Mama talk.  He was twenty pounds of pure joy, and I soaked up every second of it that I could.

Brayson's 11 months old today.  1 month short of the Big Time!!

I've spent a lot of time asking some hard questions about my faith.  And the answers I've found have been enlightening.  I think my relationship with Christ, although difficult and a struggle at times, is the best its been in years.  I don't have all the answers, and some answers I may never have, but the journey to find those answers has been edifying so far, and I look forward to where it will lead me and my family next.

Every time I'm asked to step out on faith, there's always that nagging fear that maybe I'm wrong, that things are about to fall apart.  But so far, things have actually been falling together.  I feel....aligned...in ways I haven't in a long time.

God is good, both in the land that is plentiful and the desert place.  Even if nothing was going right, God would still be good.  But, for now, He has chosen to place me in the plentiful land.  And I am grateful for it.

Conversations...

I don't believe that God speaks audibly to people anymore.  Not that I think He can't, I'm just very skeptical of people who say that He has.  And if I'm wrong, then I pray God will correct me.

So when I say this was a conversation between me and God that I had yesterday, I don't mean that it was a literal conversation.  But if I had to translate into words what I was feeling in my heart, this is how the conversation would have gone:

Me: "I didn't expect to find you here."

God: "I know."

Me: "To be honest, I really didn't want to.  I didn't want to see you today."

God: "I know.  I came anyway."

Me: "...I've really missed you..."

God: "I know.  Why have you been pushing me away?"

Me: "...I was scared.  I still am...." (To clarify, scared of what I'm not used to.  I explain later in the post.)

God: "Don't be.  Come back to me.  I'll take care of everything."

And then I wept...

When I was in high school, I felt God when I called out to him.  When I was in college, I felt God when I called out to him.  During my time in Seminary, I academically comprehended the existence and presence of God, but I stopped feeling him, and therefore I stopped calling out to him as often.  I just learned about Him.  

Four years later, I'm only now starting to recuperate from that.  

I'm not saying Seminary is bad.  What I am saying is that it is very dangerous to lose the relationship aspect of your walk with Christ.  When it becomes an academic pursuit, or a routine, or a social expectation, or a culturally accepted ritual, then we miss the whole point of why God sent his son in the first place.

Jesus was sent so that we would HAVE FELLOWSHIP with God (1 Corinthians 1:9).  Fellowship is not rote memory, repeated process, obligatory actions, or achieving specialized goals.  Fellowship is a relationship, and with God, it's one that when you experience Him, you walk away from the encounter different from how you were before.  

I've followed God since I was seven years old, but I haven't had FELLOWSHIP with God in four years.  Praise Jesus that He started to change that yesterday.  

And I hope He continues to do just that.

Motivations...

My last post was somewhat heavy, and a lot of people had opinions on what I had to say.  I feel like a little background to the post may be warranted.

My dad and I are going to the Kingdom Man Conference this weekend.  I'm really looking forward to it.  But not for the usual reasons.  Dr. Tony Evans, I'm sure, is a great speaker.  And Shane and Shane leading worship is a guarantee that it will be a night to remember.  But that's not what I'm most excited about.

The topic of the whole conference is Biblical manhood--how to be a man of God and how to measure our "manliness" according to His standards.  It's a topic that has been in the forefront of my mind for months now.

Why?  Because of Brayson.  As he grows older, it's going to be my responsibility to teach him what it means to be a man.  What he thinks a man is, how he views manhood, for good or bad, is going to be directly affected by how he sees me live my life.  And I want to give him his best chance.

I pray every night that one day Brayson will come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ.  And when that day comes, he's going to need community.  He's going to need to walk with others as he grows in his relationship with Christ.  "There is no such thing as a Lone Ranger Christian," my former pastor used to say.  He needs community to help him grow.

What I don't want for him is for his relationship with Christ to become a sanitized, habitual, obligatory duty to be performed once a week and then forgotten until the next Sunday.  I don't want him to measure his relationship with Christ based on a checklist that even the lost could keep up with.  I want him to desire a righteousness that "surpasses the Pharisees" (Matthew 5:20).  I want him to "throw off everything that hinders" him (Hebrews 12:1).  I want his relationship with Christ to be something so central that it permeates to every part of his life, from the clothes he wears to the classes he takes to the food he eats to the games he plays.  But, lately, it seems that those in a body of believers who truly desire a radical, life-altering relationship with Christ are overshadowed and ostracized by those who desire homeostasis, control, and prestige.  And the only response people have when that is brought to their attention is "yeah, well, no church is perfect."  No desire for change, no yearning to be better than what we are.  Just a simple, defeated attitude that this is as good as its ever going to get.  It scares me to think of sending my son out into that.  Because that's what happened to those two families I mentioned, and they are suffering for it.

I realize that no church is perfect, that there are always going to be problems no matter where I go.  But I can't just sit here and hope that Brayson can make the best out of what's out there.  I want to give him his best chance, and that means I can't just sit on the sidelines and accept things as they are.  In the words of Ross King, "smaller victories will never be all right with me, 'cause I've got my intentions set on bigger things than that."

We'll be moving to Shreveport soon, and once we get there, it's going to be a while before Mandy and I decide to be part of any church.  I'm less concerned about having my name on a roll than I am about being part of a community that is actually going to follow Christ, even if it means stepping away from comfort and control.  Because I want to give Brayson his best chance.  And that is more important to me than a lifetime of Sundays spent sitting in a pew.

Love me, hate me, burn me at the stake---that's where I am right now.

My broken heart and why its broken...

The whole point of this blog was to allow others to see the work that God is doing in my life.  To see my struggles, hear my questions, and watch me seek the answers.  My hopes were that as I struggled to understand my God and what His plan is for my life, it would somehow lead others to him.  If I were truly transparent about my relationship with Him, then maybe someone out there in cyber space could benefit from it.  That's why I called it "God's Forge."  As God forged and molded me and burned out the impurities, it would hopefully become a beacon for others to draw close to Him.

There's a lot I want to say right now, so many frustrations and hard questions I want to ask.  But these questions don't involve just me.  They connect with others that may not want that transparency.  So, in true Dragnet fashion, "The names have been changed to protect the innocent..." and in some cases the guilty, too.  I am deliberately making this as vague as possible.  If you think any of this is about you, that is probably just the Holy Spirit convicting you.

I know a family who used to be active in church.  Now they're not.  The mother has sworn off church altogether, because at every major crisis event in her life, when she has turned to the church for help, she has received none (and before you say anything, I was there when she went through most of those.  She isn't exaggerating.  She needed help and received none.)  The father is technically a member of a church, but he hasn't felt needed or wanted for such a long time that the community feeling he's used to is long gone.  Both of them attend a life group that they enjoy, but have flat out told me that they don't trust that group with their struggles.  They just go for the Bible study.  The oldest child was in vocational ministry, but has since left and has no plans of returning, not wanting to "play the game" anymore.  The middle child gave up on church a long time ago after being stabbed in the back by men and women the family respected, and a relationship with God is just now starting to recover from it.  The youngest child, now a college student, has felt more community and genuine concern in the Greek life on campus than the Christian organizations, college and career classes, or youth groups ever gave.  Fifteen years ago, every Sunday morning, all five of them would be in church in their pew ready to serve God however He asked them to.  Now, they serve God as best they can, but it will be a long time before they feel the need to be in a church again.  If ever.

I've met another family still active in the church.  The father's in vocational ministry, and he's good at it.  He's led scores of people to Christ in the past year alone, not to mention all those he's led over the course of his career.  Everywhere he goes, his ministry is blessed.  But he can never stay in one place for longer than a few years.  Every ministry position he has ever held, there has always been someone with power in the church that takes issue with him, and it always escalates to the point that he either is asked to leave or felt the need to leave himself.  And power is always the issue.  He's doing God's work, leading in the direction God wants him to go, and he meets resistance in every form every step of the way from people that have the audacity to call him "brother."  And all the drama is because things aren't going their way.  "That's not the camp I wanted.  That's not the program I wanted.  That's not the Sunday School material I wanted."  And the stress of it all is affecting him in ways that he never thought it would.

On and on the list goes.  And, yes, I know that "no church is perfect."  But we're not talking about a tiff here or there because someone lost their temper.  I see an epidemic of a consistent need for control.  The buildings on the hills with the shining steeples are no longer beacons of light for their communities   They're glorified country clubs with social ladders, political agendas, and a board of directors that care more about keeping "the company" in the black than they do about being effective in completing the Great Commission.  It's not about serving God anymore.  It's about serving our own ego, so at the end of the week we can look at our monuments we've built to our own sense of self-worth and feel good about our "Christian" label.  And it's happening all over.

What have we become?!?  What have we allowed the Bride of Christ to fall into?  At what point did the church become a business?  When did the traditions of a governing body of old men become more important than the Holy written Word of God?  When did appearance become more important than sincerity?

WHEN DID WE DECIDE WE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE GOD WE ARE SUPPOSED TO FOLLOW?!?

My heart breaks for what passes as a church these days.  I've done my best to reach out to these two families, and so many others like them.  But, honestly, there are some wounds that all the apologizing in the world simply won't heal.  I hope and pray that these families one day find the community that the Church is supposed to be.

We need to repent, church.  We need to repent.

"Consider how far you have fallen!  Repent and do the things you did at first.  If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place."  --Revelation 2:5

Stepping Down and Stepping Out...

We've had some major changes happen over the past week, necessary but still heartbreaking.  I read a friend's blog yesterday about "stepping out into the unknown" when following Christ.  My situation isn't nearly as drastic as his--he and his wife are going on an 11 month mission journey to serve the "least of these" in 11 different countries, and you can keep up with their journey here--but I can understand the feeling of moving forward according to God's call and not being 100% sure where that calling is leading you.

In case you haven't heard yet, I am resigning as pastor of Union Baptist Church.  The main reason is time--there simply isn't enough of it.  Between trying to be an effective Algebra 1 teacher, a good pastor, and a present and active husband and father, I'm not really fully present anywhere.  Instead of doing everything to the best of my ability, I'm really only giving a third of what I could be doing.  

Now don't get me wrong--I have a sermon prepared every Sunday, students' grades are updated in a relatively timely manner, and Brayson and Mandy spend time with me every night.  But while I sit at home, playing with Brayson, I'm thinking about all the people I should have visited before I came home and the sermon that, even though its Saturday night, still hasn't been finished.  And while I'm at church preaching sermons and casting visions, I'm thinking about that pile of tests that still hasn't been graded and how the responsible thing to do would be to skip out on my Sunday afternoon nap and get them graded.  And finally, when I get to school, I am flooded every class period with the results of a dad not being active in his child's life, and it makes me angry that I'm so distracted when I play with Brayson.  On and on the cycle has gone until finally, through long talks with God, family, and friends, I've decided to make a change. 

I have no idea what happens now.  I know I'm finishing out the school year in Sulphur Springs.  I know I'm moving back to Shreveport in the summer--when I feel lost, going home always seems to help.  But beyond that, I have no idea.  I don't know if I'll be back in vocational ministry.  And if I am, I don't know that I'll be in Shreveport when it happens.

There is one thing I am certain of.  Before God called me to be a pastor, before He called me to be a teacher--he called me to be a husband and a father.  Churches come and go, and education standards change every few years.  But I am always going to be Mandy's husband and Brayson's father.  And if there is one job I am NOT going to do halfway, it's that.

I realize a lot of you won't understand this.  It seems the assumption is that if I'm not employed at a church then I'm "falling out of the ministry."  But a calling to ministry is something that goes beyond an occupation.  I still am doing God's work.  The specific work I am doing is just changing.  To what, I don't know, but God will reveal that to me in His time.  

In the meantime, I'm going to use this opportunity to grow.  I'm going to study purely for the sake of edification and not because I have a lesson to prepare.  I'm going to spend time on my knees asking God the hard questions that I was afraid to ask before.  I'm going to dare to challenge my beliefs and hold them up against the Word of God.  I'm going to walk into the furnace, let all the impurities burn out, and let God shape me into what He wants.  Then, at the end of all this, perhaps I'll have a better understanding of exactly what kind of tool God wants me to be.  

One thing I do want to make clear...in a world where pastors are constantly leaving because of scandals and splits, that is NOT the case here.  I have nothing but love for the people of Union Baptist Church.  They have been very kind to us these past two and a half years and have shown us a love that I haven't seen in a church anywhere else.  They will always hold a very special place in my heart, and I will always look back on my time with them with fondness and love.  

So, as the title suggests, I'm stepping down and stepping out.  And, like Indiana Jones going for the Grail, even though I can't see the rock bridge under me, I have faith that God put it there.

Here.....we........GO!!!!!!

Keep Soaring (even if you have no idea where you're going),

B