Stepping Down and Stepping Out...

We've had some major changes happen over the past week, necessary but still heartbreaking.  I read a friend's blog yesterday about "stepping out into the unknown" when following Christ.  My situation isn't nearly as drastic as his--he and his wife are going on an 11 month mission journey to serve the "least of these" in 11 different countries, and you can keep up with their journey here--but I can understand the feeling of moving forward according to God's call and not being 100% sure where that calling is leading you.

In case you haven't heard yet, I am resigning as pastor of Union Baptist Church.  The main reason is time--there simply isn't enough of it.  Between trying to be an effective Algebra 1 teacher, a good pastor, and a present and active husband and father, I'm not really fully present anywhere.  Instead of doing everything to the best of my ability, I'm really only giving a third of what I could be doing.  

Now don't get me wrong--I have a sermon prepared every Sunday, students' grades are updated in a relatively timely manner, and Brayson and Mandy spend time with me every night.  But while I sit at home, playing with Brayson, I'm thinking about all the people I should have visited before I came home and the sermon that, even though its Saturday night, still hasn't been finished.  And while I'm at church preaching sermons and casting visions, I'm thinking about that pile of tests that still hasn't been graded and how the responsible thing to do would be to skip out on my Sunday afternoon nap and get them graded.  And finally, when I get to school, I am flooded every class period with the results of a dad not being active in his child's life, and it makes me angry that I'm so distracted when I play with Brayson.  On and on the cycle has gone until finally, through long talks with God, family, and friends, I've decided to make a change. 

I have no idea what happens now.  I know I'm finishing out the school year in Sulphur Springs.  I know I'm moving back to Shreveport in the summer--when I feel lost, going home always seems to help.  But beyond that, I have no idea.  I don't know if I'll be back in vocational ministry.  And if I am, I don't know that I'll be in Shreveport when it happens.

There is one thing I am certain of.  Before God called me to be a pastor, before He called me to be a teacher--he called me to be a husband and a father.  Churches come and go, and education standards change every few years.  But I am always going to be Mandy's husband and Brayson's father.  And if there is one job I am NOT going to do halfway, it's that.

I realize a lot of you won't understand this.  It seems the assumption is that if I'm not employed at a church then I'm "falling out of the ministry."  But a calling to ministry is something that goes beyond an occupation.  I still am doing God's work.  The specific work I am doing is just changing.  To what, I don't know, but God will reveal that to me in His time.  

In the meantime, I'm going to use this opportunity to grow.  I'm going to study purely for the sake of edification and not because I have a lesson to prepare.  I'm going to spend time on my knees asking God the hard questions that I was afraid to ask before.  I'm going to dare to challenge my beliefs and hold them up against the Word of God.  I'm going to walk into the furnace, let all the impurities burn out, and let God shape me into what He wants.  Then, at the end of all this, perhaps I'll have a better understanding of exactly what kind of tool God wants me to be.  

One thing I do want to make clear...in a world where pastors are constantly leaving because of scandals and splits, that is NOT the case here.  I have nothing but love for the people of Union Baptist Church.  They have been very kind to us these past two and a half years and have shown us a love that I haven't seen in a church anywhere else.  They will always hold a very special place in my heart, and I will always look back on my time with them with fondness and love.  

So, as the title suggests, I'm stepping down and stepping out.  And, like Indiana Jones going for the Grail, even though I can't see the rock bridge under me, I have faith that God put it there.

Here.....we........GO!!!!!!

Keep Soaring (even if you have no idea where you're going),

B

JESUS DIDN'T WANT TO DIE

Did I get your attention with that title?  That's biblical, you know.  It is.  Read this:

“Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." --Luke 22:42 (emphasis mine)

You see?  Jesus, the Messiah, the Son of God, had a moment where He didn't want to do the very thing He was sent to this Earth to do in the first place.  He worried.  He was upset.  Now, He did not let that worry stop him from doing what He was called to do.  He acted regardless and was obedient to God's will.  But that didn't change the fact that He was scared.  Or worried, or sad, or any other negative emotion He might have been feeling.

Today's society is so terrified of the unhappy person.  We says things like "Worrying is a sin," and "The Devil is trying to steal your joy" and "The fact that Jesus loves you means you should be happy."  And if we manage to avoid those catch phrases, we replace them with things like "I understand how you feel" and "It'll be okay in the end."  And we expect those magical words to somehow make the unhappy person we're trying to comfort instantly better.  And when it doesn't work, when the person honestly does not feel better, we turn it on them.  "You're just selfish."  "No one always gets what they want."  "You're obsessing over this issue."

But you know what I read in the Bible?  I read about people who are passionate.  I read about people who knew how to mourn and be sad like no one else.  I read about a shepherd turned local hero who is pursued by the king and he cries out, "My God my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Psalm 22).  I read about a wealthy man who lost his wealth and his family all in one day, only to later lose his wife's support and his health, and his demeanor was so pitiful that it drove his friends to mourn with him (Job 1-2).  I read about a loving Teacher that is so distraught over the grief of his friends that He is moved to tears himself (John 11).  And I read about a prophesied Savior who, at the eleventh hour, didn't want to go through with what was expected of Him (Luke 22).

Now, as I said before, all of these people trusted God and moved forward with what was expected of them.  Their fear and worry and doubt and sadness did not stop them.  But they were allowed to feel what they felt.  And, as followers of Christ, if we really want to be of help to those hurting, we need to allow them to hurt.  Yes, offer support.  Listen when they talk.  Be there when they really need something.  But don't tell them their negative emotions are the work of the Devil.  Don't tell them their worry or concern or depression is separating them from God.  In truth, it may be that desperation and grief that drives them that much closer to Him.  It's okay to not be put together.  It's okay to be broken.  And, most importantly, it's okay to be honest about what you really feel with the One that created you.  (Besides, He's God.  He knows how you really feel anyway, so why bother trying to hide it?).

There's my rant for the day.

Keep Soaring,

B

My Perspective on the next four years...

During this whole election process, I've had some very strong opinions about the fighting and bickering that's gone on between Democrats and Republicans.  I've constantly tried to remind everyone that regardless of who is president, Christ is King.  And I've deliberately kept my political opinions to myself, because I didn't want to contribute to the fighting going on.  I didn't think it represented Christ well, and I wanted no part of it.

Now the election is over, and there are several people unhappy with the outcome.  I have a very specific perspective on what needs to happen in the next four years, a perspective that I think (and prayerfully hope) will help others in their planning for the next several years.  Unfortunately, I cannot share that perspective without also sharing my political opinions.  So, before you read any further, I would like to point out that at no point in this election did I ever say anything derogatory towards either candidate.  At no point did I disrespect any member of any political party.  I showed no malice or hatred during the election, and even made every attempt to end the fighting and bickering where I could.  I respectfully ask that you show that same respect to me.  Please do not use my blog (or Facebook) as a forum for you to spew venom at those who have opposing views.  I welcome friendly debate and healthy discussions, but I will not tolerate belittling or degrading remarks.  If you cannot show that respect to me, you will be blocked from my Facebook and blog and your comments deleted.  Please, for the sake of peace, keep things cordial.

Now that we've got that out of the way...

I voted for Mitt Romney.  He wasn't my favorite choice, but given the alternative, I thought he was the best choice.  In my humble opinion, President Obama's record is not satisfactory, and more important than that, he is pushing legislation that will essentially force me to support things that I, because of my faith, do not support.  I do not think it is right for my tax dollars to help fund abortions if I believe abortions are morally wrong.  I do not think it is right for me to face hate crime charges if I speak openly about my views on homosexuality.  And I do not think it is right that a monument or spoken prayer that has stood for decades be removed because it offends people who go to these places and ceremonies of their own free choice. Say what you will about foreign policy, the economy, and the environment, but these are the issues that decided my vote.

So, obviously, I was disappointed in last night's results.  And I am very concerned about the future of this country and where we are heading.  But, in the end, I am an American citizen, and Barack Obama is my president.  Even if I don't agree with the man, I must respect his office.  Because he is president, I will pray for him everyday, that God will guide his decisions, and that he will be the leader that this country needs.  I believe that the power of prayer is stronger than any threat we can face.  I place this country in God's hands and trust that He will do whatever is necessary to glorify His name.

Now, about all those other things.  Since I believe that abortion is wrong, that it is the murder of innocent children, and since my tax dollars are going to support it and there is apparently nothing I can do about it, I am going to try and be the change I want to see.  Rather than waiting for Capitol Hill to pass legislation that I agree with, I am going to go out and find those single women, those pregnant teenagers, those women who honestly think that abortion is better than adoption or raising a child.  I'm going to find them, and I'm going to help them.  I'm going to help them find classes on how to care for their unborn children.  I'm going to find loving families who are willing to take the child she can't afford to have.  I'm going to talk with her about her fears and doubts and worries, and I am going to do everything I can to help calm those fears and ease those doubts and put to rest those worries. I am going to do everything I can to make sure these poor women who are scared and unsure feel like they have another choice they can make.

Since I believe that marriage should be defined between a man and a woman, I'm going to take the time to get to know the LGBT community.  I'm going to befriend them and get to know them as people.  I'm going to let them get to know me and know what my heart is and where I'm coming from.  I'm going to get to a place where my care for them has nothing to do with their sexual orientation, where my friendship with them is iron clad and not easily shaken.  They're going to get to know me, and they're going to realize I don't hate them, that I don't think they're sub-human or some new kind of evil.  They're going to realize that I love them just as much as I would love anyone else.  And once we're at that place, I'll be able to share my views, and they will listen.  They may not agree, but they will listen, because now the words are coming from a friend, and not an enemy with an agenda.

Since I believe that my faith in Christ is under attack because of the consistent removal of monuments and prayers from public places, I'm going to show everyone just what exactly my faith in Christ is all about.  I'm going to give myself away to helping the poor and needy, to showing the love of Christ to everyone I come in contact with.  I am going to truly love my neighbors as much as I love myself, and see that their needs are met just as much if not more than mine.  I am going to be such a loving, kind, gentle person that when people think of Jesus, they don't think of an oppressive religion that has been in power too long.  They're going to think of a loving Savior who came to Earth to save us from sin.  And then, Jesus won't be an offensive topic, because no one will be able to say that their lives are worsened by Him or His followers.

To put it simply, I'm going to stop waiting for Capitol Hill to force what I should have been encouraging all along.  There's no need for abortions if women feel supported and taken care of when they get pregnant.  There's no need for civil rights legislation if everyone is treated with kindness and respect from the start.  There's no need for legal battles about Jesus Christ's place in public if everyone sees Christianity as a positive influence.  There's no need for regulation on welfare if everyone is trying to meet everyone else's needs.  I fully realize that, by myself, I'm not going to change the tide.  But, for those few people I can actually come in contact with, the difference will be worth it.

So don't pack your bags and move to Canada.  Don't start stockpiling on ammunition and nonperishable foods.  Stop complaining that your favorite candidate isn't sitting in the White House now.  Join me.  Let's stop waiting for Capitol Hill to do our job.  Let's get out there and do what we should have been doing in the beginning: Love God with everything, and love people as much as we love ourselves.

And if your candidate is sitting in the White House, join me anyway.  Don't let the fact that legislation is going your way allow you to become complacent about the hurting and suffering around you.  Don't wait for Capitol Hill to fix the problems you see around you.  Become the solution yourself.  Because, trust me, no matter who is president, Capitol Hill will take too long.

That's how I'm going to handle these next four years.  And not a single bit of that has anything to do with who is President.  It has everything to do with what I am going to do.  I am going to take responsibility for what I have the power to change, and I am going to change it.

One more reminder: if you respond to this, keep it respectful and keep it cordial, or don't respond at all.

Keep Soaring,

B