Late night thoughts....

For those of you who may not know...if it's two in the morning, and all you have to drink in the refridgerator is a Mountain Dew...just stay thirsty and forget the Mountain Dew.  Otherwise, you will not sleep, even on a night where your infant son is uncharacteristically calm and sleeping...

I go back to work soon.  To be honest, there is very little there that I am looking forward to go back to.  I am constantly slammed with contradictions and impossible situations.  I spend weeks doing top level assignments only to be observed on the one off day of the six weeks.  In an observation I am praised for my charisma in the classroom and my ability to hold a student's attention, and yet two minutes later I am told I need to not be in the front of the class so much.  I go to seminar after seminar about how students lack the proper foundations in math to succeed, and yet I am rebuked for taking too long on a topic to make sure the foundations are built.  The people that tell me to teach bell to bell pay money to hire a professional educational motivator, who then tells me not to teach bell to bell.  And at the end of it all, as much as I try to teach math so that life skills are learned, all that really matters is how well my students can guess on one test on one day.  Its not about educating young people....its about handing out as many diplomas as possible.  As I said, there is very little to look forward to when I return.

And yet, sitting here watching my little boy sleep....it all suddenly becomes worth it.  Watching his little chest rise and fall, I come to realize that I would do anything just to ensure that he has moments like this.  I would go to the bottom of a coal mine, fight the storms of a hundred seas, throw myself in the path of a thousand bullets, endure every hardship, pain, risk, danger, and disappointment known to man...just to make sure Brayson gets a good night's rest.  No matter how frustrated I get with the education system...for now, it keeps food in his mouth, a roof over his head, and clothes on his back.

So bring it on.  Give me the kids that don't do their homework and expect to pass.  Give me the naive parents who think their child is mankind's savior.  Give me the administrators so far removed from the classroom they can't remember what its like to teach at all.  Give me the state legislators that make standards with no concept how to implement them in the real world.  Give me a job whose pay is no where near the amount it should be for all the certification crap one has to go through to get that job.  Bring it all.  I'll take it all on, just so my little boy can sleep peacefully.

Yeah.....Mountain Dew at 2 AM is a bad thing.....Don't do it.....

Keep Soaring,

Branson      

Random neurons passing in my mind...

Brayson is 70 days away and counting...assuming he arrives when he's scheduled to, which from what I hear rarely happens.  I actually am starting to get nervous.  Its one thing to talk about what you would do if you had a child.  Its something completely different to talk about what you do now that you have a child.  It makes me take a hard look at what is out in this world and what I'm willing to allow in.  Suffice it to say if my son takes an interest in my hobbies, we'll be ordering his comic books online.

Had a very encouraging talk with a friend yesterday.  Nice to know that I'm not as crazy as I think I am sometimes.

When I was in college, my friend Joey and I watched Ruroni Kenshen, an anime about an assassin who turns a new leaf and vows never to kill.  In that anime, there is a general with a wife, and it is said of her that she is his sheath.  I never really understood what that meant.  And then God put Mandy in my life.  Sometimes its better to put down your weapons and study war no more for a day.  And sometimes the only reason a war is worth fighting is because you're fighting for someone back home.

"Dogs are forever in the push-up position."  I don't know what that means.  Apparently neither does Mitch Hedburg.

Keep Soaring,

B