Got a lot on my mind this morning. There's a lot that the Lord is dealing with me about. Things that I've always known, some things I am only recently understanding, and some things I never will understand. My head fills like a suitcase that someone tried to pack too many clothes in, and I'm trying to sort through it all to find out what's necessary and what I can just let go of.
I've been going through a complete paradigm shift in my faith. It started three years ago, but it has really been going on the past year. Not to worry, I still hold to my faith in Christ. He is the way, the truth, and the life, and no one comes to the Father except through him. I still hold to being saved by grace alone through faith alone in Christ alone. I still believe that the Bible is God's revelation of Himself to man, and that anything anyone claims to be from God, if it truly is, should be in alignment with what the Bible says. I just wonder if some of the things in churchdom we hold to so dearly today are really all that important in the eyes of God. Or, even worse, do they actually hinder our growing relationship with God?
It's been no great surprise that I've always had a soft spot in my heart for people who left the church because they were hurt by the church. I still have all the posts from my Advocate for the Outcast blog saved. But when I sit down and talk with these people and discover what it is that hurt them, I'm ashamed. Most of the time, they weren't sent away on matters of doctrine and theology. They weren't in the middle of grievous sin and were held accountable to it. Most of the people I see that leave the church leave it because what they hear preached and what they see do not go together. I won't discuss them in detail here....no one would have the time to read it. But I have to say....I really couldn't defend us to them, other than to say, "We're not all like that."
I think of my son, and how I am supposed to be a representation of God to him. When he sees me, he is to see an example of how a follower of Christ should live. And I fear for what my example may show him. I don't want to teach him a Christianity where geographical location on Sunday and financial support of an institution is all there is to following Christ. That shouldn't be the end all and be all for him. I want him to have a faith so powerful that it spurs him on to live for the Lord. I want to see him so amazed by God's power that he falls to his knees in worship. I want to see him so desperate for God's presence that he closes himself off in his room so that he can read and pray. I want to see his faith affect more than what he does on Sunday. And I have to face the realization that, unless I model that for him, he may never know what that's like.
I covet your prayers. I seek the Lord's wisdom as to what my response should be, what changes in my life I need to make. I seek the Lord's wisdom as to this paradigm shift, and whether or not its Him drawing me close or my own head getting me farther away. I don't want to take one step without knowing its in God's will. But at the same time, I don't want to miss an opportunity to live like God intended me to.
Keep Soaring,
B
No comments:
Post a Comment