Okay. As promised, here is a breakdown on my opinions on Ross King's "Unplowed Ground." If you haven't heard the song, you can listen to it here.
The first thing that caught my attention was the description of the farmer in the first verse. He seemed to so accurately describe where my mood was--looking back on stronger days and feeling tired of the desert land my life seemed to be. I had become so drained, so tired of enduring and enduring and enduring that any desire to grow and develop my relationship with Christ had wilted.
The "word to Jeremiah" that "applies to me" can be found in Jeremiah 4:3--"Yes, the Lord has this to say to the people of Judah and Jerusalem: 'Like a farmer breaking up hard unplowed ground, you must break your rebellious will and make a new beginning; just as a farmer must clear away thorns lest the seed is wasted, you must get rid of the sin that is ruining your lives.'" It was a call to renewal, to remove the things from their lives that hindered their growth with God.
The chorus hit me especially hard, because anger was my pet sin that was keeping me down. I had become so disillusioned with my Seminary professors, and to an extent the church in general, that I couldn't bring myself to read the Bible or pray in earnest or go to church, even one that I usually enjoyed. Just like God called Israel to repent, he called me to repent of the anger I allowed to take hold of my heart.
The second verse didn't apply as much to my situation as the first, but I think it's still an important part of the song. The farmer in the second verse is completely opposite of the first. He isn't having a drought, but an overflow of abundance. Things are going great for him, and as a result, he loses sight of things, and becomes materialistic. "I see how fat I am, and I'm still wanting more."
The second chorus again calls for breaking up unplowed ground, this time in reference to Hosea 10:12. In this Scripture God again calls for Israel to break up its unplowed ground, and to sow righteousness rather than wickedness. Verse 13 seems to suggest a dependence on materials and man-made things rather than God.
I think too often we find ourselves here as well. When things are going well, we like to pat ourselves on the back and say what a good job we have done. We build monuments in our minds to our own greatness, and too easily forget the One who gave us that greatness to start with.
So the song, in summary, calls for us to break up unplowed ground, to do the things that lead to growth in Christ, and to get rid of everything that holds us back. And like Ross King observes at the end of this song, so I say to you, "It's time to seek the Lord."
Feel free to comment or ask questions. I'm always here.
Keep Soaring,
B
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Clarity received....now moving forward....
I have been meaning to write this post for a few days now, but between preparing for preaching last Sunday and going through surgery, having time to sit down and write has been little. But, now that I am in happy, though somewhat uncomfortable, recovery, I actually have time now.
Shortly after my last post, I sat down, fired up iTunes, and started a game of Mahjong, just to let my mind focus on something other than my circumstances for a while. "Unplowed Ground" by Ross King came up on the play list. The words struck my heart hard, and all too soon I found myself face down on the floor of my computer room crying out to God. After an extensive prayer time, and some scripture reading, God gave me the clarity I needed. To those of you who sent encouraging Facebook comments, messages, emails, phonecalls, prayers, etc etc etc....all of you. Thank you. The LORD used you to restore a man who was near to breaking point.
Since the song convicted me so much, and since my old pastor has started this on his blog, I thought it would be a good idea to share it with my readers and look into what the song is saying. I haven't completely finished my thoughts on it yet, so those will have to come later. But in the meantime, you can listen to the song here: http://new.music.yahoo.com/ross-king/tracks/unplowed-ground--183269587
Feel free to comment or ask questions. I'm always here.
Keep Soaring,
B
Shortly after my last post, I sat down, fired up iTunes, and started a game of Mahjong, just to let my mind focus on something other than my circumstances for a while. "Unplowed Ground" by Ross King came up on the play list. The words struck my heart hard, and all too soon I found myself face down on the floor of my computer room crying out to God. After an extensive prayer time, and some scripture reading, God gave me the clarity I needed. To those of you who sent encouraging Facebook comments, messages, emails, phonecalls, prayers, etc etc etc....all of you. Thank you. The LORD used you to restore a man who was near to breaking point.
Since the song convicted me so much, and since my old pastor has started this on his blog, I thought it would be a good idea to share it with my readers and look into what the song is saying. I haven't completely finished my thoughts on it yet, so those will have to come later. But in the meantime, you can listen to the song here: http://new.music.yahoo.com/ross-king/tracks/unplowed-ground--183269587
Feel free to comment or ask questions. I'm always here.
Keep Soaring,
B
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Not quite fitting in where everyone says I should...
I started this blog as a ministry to reach out to people who have become disillusioned with Christianity because of something a church did. So naturally, I try to put my best foot forward when it comes to representing the body of Christ, to show the people what Christ is about, not what churches think Christ should be about.
I also said I wouldn't water down the truth, that I would be honest and open and real. Well, that's the tricky part, isn't it? Because sometimes, when I'm open and honest and real, I end up confirming what the people I'm trying to reach are afraid of. So which is more important: honesty or keeping up the image?
I'm sick of images. I'm sick of molds. I'm sick of trying to bring people to a body that refuses to bend to reach out. I have a blog that, while not private, is certainly less accessible than this one. I was tempted to unload all my frustrations on it. That way I can say what I'm feeling without ruining the image. But that wouldn't be honest, would it?
What it all boils down to is a class, one class in my Seminary education--which thus far has brought more heartache than illumination--and a difference of opinion with my professor.
The differences are many, but going into every one of them would take too long. They all boil down to this: he has a certain idea of what a minster should look like, a mold that in his eyes a minister should fit, one that he cites as the "higher standard" ministers are called to be held to. And I do not fit that mold.
So the moral dilemma I'm struggling with is how I should respond to this. Should I adjust my beliefs and ideals to fit this mold that I'm being presented with? He's the one with the Dr. in front of his name, the lifetime experience of preaching and ministry, and the one holding my grade in the palm of his hand. He certainly has been in this ministry thing longer than me, so he probably knows more about what works and what doesn't.
But his mold flies in the face of everything I stand for. Come to think of it, the existence of a mold period flies in the face of everything I stand for. I don't believe that God is so limited that he can only operate in a Baptist, non-mystical, expository sermon to draw people to him. Yes, there are a lot of benefits to those things, but that's not the only way God operates. At least that's what my experiences have taught me. So should I just accept that I don't fit that mold and find something else to do?
Getting out of the class would be easy. All it would take is one honest conversation with the man to tell exactly what I think about his "mold," (not a hateful conversation, mind you, just an honest one) and I would be told that my heart is not in the right place to effectively represent the Gospel in the field, and that perhaps I should drop the course, possibly even Seminary altogether. And you know, that is very tempting. I know my heart's not in the right place to do what he wants me to do. But whose heart needs changing--his or mine?
Maybe I am too "mystical" for a minister, but those mystic moments have brought more clarity to me than a thousand traditional Baptist invitations. Shoot, some of those mystic moments have been during traditional Baptist invitations. But what I need right now is clarity. Clarity to do what is right. Not what I want, and not what my professor wants, but what is right. And I'm just having a very difficult time recognizing what that is right now.
So those of you who hate church to start with, please believe me when I say this isn't how it's supposed to be. This isn't what God intended, and this isn't what Christ is about. God is good, people are messed up. But I promised I would be honest, and this is what's going on...
Those of you who pray, remember me. Things that I have stood by since I was 16 years old are being shaken, and I'm not sure what's going to be left when the earthquake stops. Pray that I get the clarity that I so desperately need right now, and then pray that I have the courage and boldness to act on what I learn from it, regardless of where it takes me.
Keep Soaring, even when it means more flapping than gliding,
B
I also said I wouldn't water down the truth, that I would be honest and open and real. Well, that's the tricky part, isn't it? Because sometimes, when I'm open and honest and real, I end up confirming what the people I'm trying to reach are afraid of. So which is more important: honesty or keeping up the image?
I'm sick of images. I'm sick of molds. I'm sick of trying to bring people to a body that refuses to bend to reach out. I have a blog that, while not private, is certainly less accessible than this one. I was tempted to unload all my frustrations on it. That way I can say what I'm feeling without ruining the image. But that wouldn't be honest, would it?
What it all boils down to is a class, one class in my Seminary education--which thus far has brought more heartache than illumination--and a difference of opinion with my professor.
The differences are many, but going into every one of them would take too long. They all boil down to this: he has a certain idea of what a minster should look like, a mold that in his eyes a minister should fit, one that he cites as the "higher standard" ministers are called to be held to. And I do not fit that mold.
So the moral dilemma I'm struggling with is how I should respond to this. Should I adjust my beliefs and ideals to fit this mold that I'm being presented with? He's the one with the Dr. in front of his name, the lifetime experience of preaching and ministry, and the one holding my grade in the palm of his hand. He certainly has been in this ministry thing longer than me, so he probably knows more about what works and what doesn't.
But his mold flies in the face of everything I stand for. Come to think of it, the existence of a mold period flies in the face of everything I stand for. I don't believe that God is so limited that he can only operate in a Baptist, non-mystical, expository sermon to draw people to him. Yes, there are a lot of benefits to those things, but that's not the only way God operates. At least that's what my experiences have taught me. So should I just accept that I don't fit that mold and find something else to do?
Getting out of the class would be easy. All it would take is one honest conversation with the man to tell exactly what I think about his "mold," (not a hateful conversation, mind you, just an honest one) and I would be told that my heart is not in the right place to effectively represent the Gospel in the field, and that perhaps I should drop the course, possibly even Seminary altogether. And you know, that is very tempting. I know my heart's not in the right place to do what he wants me to do. But whose heart needs changing--his or mine?
Maybe I am too "mystical" for a minister, but those mystic moments have brought more clarity to me than a thousand traditional Baptist invitations. Shoot, some of those mystic moments have been during traditional Baptist invitations. But what I need right now is clarity. Clarity to do what is right. Not what I want, and not what my professor wants, but what is right. And I'm just having a very difficult time recognizing what that is right now.
So those of you who hate church to start with, please believe me when I say this isn't how it's supposed to be. This isn't what God intended, and this isn't what Christ is about. God is good, people are messed up. But I promised I would be honest, and this is what's going on...
Those of you who pray, remember me. Things that I have stood by since I was 16 years old are being shaken, and I'm not sure what's going to be left when the earthquake stops. Pray that I get the clarity that I so desperately need right now, and then pray that I have the courage and boldness to act on what I learn from it, regardless of where it takes me.
Keep Soaring, even when it means more flapping than gliding,
B
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)