Mandy and I had a talk the other night about taking care of Brayson. As is normal for most newborns, his days and nights are mixed up. So what ends up happening is Mandy and I trade baby watch duty. One of us watches him for a couple of hours, and then we trade off. Then, while one watches, the other sleeps. It hasn't been a bad system.
Here's the thing. Mandy said she didn't feel like we were doing enough together. Granted, I've stayed up for hours into the night watching Brayson so she could sleep. I've gone to buy things at the store, tried to keep the house reasonably clean...been very busy performing tasks. But when it came to the two of us sitting down and talking with each other, talking about the changes in our lives, relating to one another...I've been somewhat absent. My focus has been so much on providing for my newborn son, at some point I forgot I still have a wife that needs me just as much.
An important lesson, I think. We've all heard about couples who stick it out until the kids leave, and then its divorce time. They become so absorbed in taking care of their children that at some point they forget to take care of each other. That's great parenting, but its bad relating.
Now, I know first hand that when a child comes into the world, things change. Time you thought you had is gone forever, and it seems like you're just existing between naps and diaper changes. But we're not doing our children any favors if caring for them makes us leave our spouses. So, take it from me, its worth the time to put the baby down for an hour or two and be a couple. If the baby's old enough, call the sitter and go out. If nothing else, the two of you sit on the floor with the little tyke and the three of you play together.
I want to be the best father that I can be for Brayson. Part of that is still being the best husband I can be to Mandy.
Keep Soaring,
B
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