I started this blog as a ministry to reach out to people who have become disillusioned with Christianity because of something a church did. So naturally, I try to put my best foot forward when it comes to representing the body of Christ, to show the people what Christ is about, not what churches think Christ should be about.
I also said I wouldn't water down the truth, that I would be honest and open and real. Well, that's the tricky part, isn't it? Because sometimes, when I'm open and honest and real, I end up confirming what the people I'm trying to reach are afraid of. So which is more important: honesty or keeping up the image?
I'm sick of images. I'm sick of molds. I'm sick of trying to bring people to a body that refuses to bend to reach out. I have a blog that, while not private, is certainly less accessible than this one. I was tempted to unload all my frustrations on it. That way I can say what I'm feeling without ruining the image. But that wouldn't be honest, would it?
What it all boils down to is a class, one class in my Seminary education--which thus far has brought more heartache than illumination--and a difference of opinion with my professor.
The differences are many, but going into every one of them would take too long. They all boil down to this: he has a certain idea of what a minster should look like, a mold that in his eyes a minister should fit, one that he cites as the "higher standard" ministers are called to be held to. And I do not fit that mold.
So the moral dilemma I'm struggling with is how I should respond to this. Should I adjust my beliefs and ideals to fit this mold that I'm being presented with? He's the one with the Dr. in front of his name, the lifetime experience of preaching and ministry, and the one holding my grade in the palm of his hand. He certainly has been in this ministry thing longer than me, so he probably knows more about what works and what doesn't.
But his mold flies in the face of everything I stand for. Come to think of it, the existence of a mold period flies in the face of everything I stand for. I don't believe that God is so limited that he can only operate in a Baptist, non-mystical, expository sermon to draw people to him. Yes, there are a lot of benefits to those things, but that's not the only way God operates. At least that's what my experiences have taught me. So should I just accept that I don't fit that mold and find something else to do?
Getting out of the class would be easy. All it would take is one honest conversation with the man to tell exactly what I think about his "mold," (not a hateful conversation, mind you, just an honest one) and I would be told that my heart is not in the right place to effectively represent the Gospel in the field, and that perhaps I should drop the course, possibly even Seminary altogether. And you know, that is very tempting. I know my heart's not in the right place to do what he wants me to do. But whose heart needs changing--his or mine?
Maybe I am too "mystical" for a minister, but those mystic moments have brought more clarity to me than a thousand traditional Baptist invitations. Shoot, some of those mystic moments have been during traditional Baptist invitations. But what I need right now is clarity. Clarity to do what is right. Not what I want, and not what my professor wants, but what is right. And I'm just having a very difficult time recognizing what that is right now.
So those of you who hate church to start with, please believe me when I say this isn't how it's supposed to be. This isn't what God intended, and this isn't what Christ is about. God is good, people are messed up. But I promised I would be honest, and this is what's going on...
Those of you who pray, remember me. Things that I have stood by since I was 16 years old are being shaken, and I'm not sure what's going to be left when the earthquake stops. Pray that I get the clarity that I so desperately need right now, and then pray that I have the courage and boldness to act on what I learn from it, regardless of where it takes me.
Keep Soaring, even when it means more flapping than gliding,
B
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Christ is not the president...
I was thinking about citizenship today, specifically citizenship in America and citizenship in the kingdom of God, and a thought came to my mind.
Jesus Christ should not be like the president.
Let me explain. I am a citizen of the United States of America, and I do what a good citizen should do. I do my best to obey the laws. I try to stay educated on the issues facing our country. I vote in every election, and I pay my taxes. I know who my president is, I respect the office, and even if he does things that I don't like, I still respect the fact that he is my president and deserves my loyalty and support.
I am also a citizen of the kingdom of God, and I try to do what a good citizen does. I do my best to follow the Lord's commands. I try to stay educated about the Bible and the issues facing the Body of Christ. I participate in ministries that spread the Gospel, and I tithe at church. I know who my Lord is, I respect His authority, and even if he does things that I don't like, I still respect the fact that He is God and deserves my loyalty and devotion.
But that isn't good enough.
I don't talk to President Obama on a daily basis. I don't base my decisions on what he thinks is best. I don't seek his favor with my lifestyle and life choices. When I need guidance or wisdom, I don't go to him for these things. He is my president, but the relationship stops there.
That's not how it is with God. I should be talking to Him on a daily basis. I should base my decisions on what He thinks is best (or really knows to be best). I should seek His favor with my lifestyle and my life choices. When I need guidance or wisdom, He is the only one I should go to for these things. He is my God, and by His grace the relationship exists between Him and me.
I, for one, have been convicted of living my life as though I am a citizen of the kingdom, but not a child of God. I keep all the duties I should as a good Christian, but too often my relationship with Christ just isn't there. Being a follower of Christ is more than just performing duties. It's about knowing Him. I pray that we won't be like those Jesus spoke of who learned this lesson to late.
"On that day, many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, didn’t we prophesy in your name, and in your name cast out demons and do many powerful deeds?’Then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you. Go away from me, you lawbreakers!'" --Matthew 7:22-23
It's not about how many good things we do or how many commandments we keep. It's about how well we know Christ, and how close our relationship is with him.
Feel free to comment or ask questions. I'm always here.
Keep Soaring,
B
Jesus Christ should not be like the president.
Let me explain. I am a citizen of the United States of America, and I do what a good citizen should do. I do my best to obey the laws. I try to stay educated on the issues facing our country. I vote in every election, and I pay my taxes. I know who my president is, I respect the office, and even if he does things that I don't like, I still respect the fact that he is my president and deserves my loyalty and support.
I am also a citizen of the kingdom of God, and I try to do what a good citizen does. I do my best to follow the Lord's commands. I try to stay educated about the Bible and the issues facing the Body of Christ. I participate in ministries that spread the Gospel, and I tithe at church. I know who my Lord is, I respect His authority, and even if he does things that I don't like, I still respect the fact that He is God and deserves my loyalty and devotion.
But that isn't good enough.
I don't talk to President Obama on a daily basis. I don't base my decisions on what he thinks is best. I don't seek his favor with my lifestyle and life choices. When I need guidance or wisdom, I don't go to him for these things. He is my president, but the relationship stops there.
That's not how it is with God. I should be talking to Him on a daily basis. I should base my decisions on what He thinks is best (or really knows to be best). I should seek His favor with my lifestyle and my life choices. When I need guidance or wisdom, He is the only one I should go to for these things. He is my God, and by His grace the relationship exists between Him and me.
I, for one, have been convicted of living my life as though I am a citizen of the kingdom, but not a child of God. I keep all the duties I should as a good Christian, but too often my relationship with Christ just isn't there. Being a follower of Christ is more than just performing duties. It's about knowing Him. I pray that we won't be like those Jesus spoke of who learned this lesson to late.
"On that day, many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, didn’t we prophesy in your name, and in your name cast out demons and do many powerful deeds?’Then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you. Go away from me, you lawbreakers!'" --Matthew 7:22-23
It's not about how many good things we do or how many commandments we keep. It's about how well we know Christ, and how close our relationship is with him.
Feel free to comment or ask questions. I'm always here.
Keep Soaring,
B
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
New Year's Resolutions...
It's another New Year, which means everyone is making resolutions to lose weight, quit smoking, exercise more, or in some other way live better than they did the year before. Sad to say that I'm no different, mostly because a doctor told me I have high-blood pressure. So, for the sake of my well-being, I have to embrace the cliche weight loss resolution.
But a verse of scripture came to my mind that has a different idea on what resolutions should be. I thought pf the text in 2 Chronicles where Solomon has completed the temple and invites God to make that temple His dwelling place. God answers, agrees, and tells Solomon this: "If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves, pray, seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land." (2 Chronicles 7:14).
I think that if I really want to live better in 2010 than I did in 2009, losing weight won't do me much good. Regardless of how heavy I am, I am still chained to my flesh and to its sinful desires. No, if I really want to live better, I need to do something more than just lose a few pounds. I need to change my entire lifestyle. So, this year my resolution is to be humble, to pray, to seek God's face, and to turn from my wicked ways. I want to be a man whom God hears, and whose sins are forgiven, and who lives in land restored and sustained by God.
Rest assured, I am still going to lose weight, because my body is a temple for God and it should be treated as such (not to mention the health concerns involved). But something tells me that if I focus on my relationship with Christ and turn from my worldly passions, then this weight thing will work itself out.
Feel free to comment or ask questions. I'm always here.
Keep Soaring,
B
PS: Happy New Year!!!!
But a verse of scripture came to my mind that has a different idea on what resolutions should be. I thought pf the text in 2 Chronicles where Solomon has completed the temple and invites God to make that temple His dwelling place. God answers, agrees, and tells Solomon this: "If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves, pray, seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land." (2 Chronicles 7:14).
I think that if I really want to live better in 2010 than I did in 2009, losing weight won't do me much good. Regardless of how heavy I am, I am still chained to my flesh and to its sinful desires. No, if I really want to live better, I need to do something more than just lose a few pounds. I need to change my entire lifestyle. So, this year my resolution is to be humble, to pray, to seek God's face, and to turn from my wicked ways. I want to be a man whom God hears, and whose sins are forgiven, and who lives in land restored and sustained by God.
Rest assured, I am still going to lose weight, because my body is a temple for God and it should be treated as such (not to mention the health concerns involved). But something tells me that if I focus on my relationship with Christ and turn from my worldly passions, then this weight thing will work itself out.
Feel free to comment or ask questions. I'm always here.
Keep Soaring,
B
PS: Happy New Year!!!!
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